Screw Michelle Obama and her lovely family.

5 Sep

3PM Wednesday

Screw Michelle Obama and her lovely family.

Why must every friggin’ American politician announce that their parents didn’t have much money but they grew up with oodles of love, discipline, values and that their parents supported their families with two, three, ten jobs…?*

Insert scream here.

*Except the ones with oodles of money

I tried to watch Michelle Obama’s Democratic National Convention 2012 speech. My eyes caught on fire and I had to turn it off.

Not only couldn’t I stand the cringing rubbish of teachers who are fighting to make it through because the Republican cuts and the blinded no-leg soldiers who are going to run marathons and who would lose their eyes again for America.

But the most cringing is the glorification of her and Barack Obama’s parents. The deification, the sanctification, the glorification, the damned ications.

If it is true – if Michelle and her hubby Barack Obama were given massive love and a safe environment and had incredible role models as children – then they’ve had the same advantage as Mitt Romney, who grew up with money and inherited money.

Having loving parents is maybe a MORE unfair advantage than having just rich parents.

We all know it’s almost impossible to be a success with unearned money. The smartest rich Americans don’t leave their children much. Andrew Carnegie gave it all away and so is Bill Gates. That is very American.

The reverse is true here in Britain where the goal is to hand down the wealth that your parents gave you and then some. That is why Britain’s ruling elite, including the Royal Family, are so ill-suited to taking this country into the future. Britain is one giant game of hot potato. Risk adverse and possessive.

Anyone can be a success with the proper role models. Hard work and discipline is the most transferable and valuable of skills.

I didn’t have a safe environment to grow up it.

My mother was always buggering off into her dream world of anger and medications and depressions and periodic visits to psychiatric emergency wards and hospitals. I learned from my mother to see the sofa as a safe place.

My father was the brokest lawyer in the New York State Bar Association – in one of the most lucrative legal fields – Patent and Trademark Law. I don’t blame him for my failure because he actually worked. I didn’t see him doing it because he slaved in the AMF Building on Madison Avenue and in 15 Park Row, once the tallest building in the world. My mother wasn’t the best role model.

That said: I don’t know how loving Michelle Obama’s childhood was.

I do know that her husband – Barack Obama – didn’t have such a good childhood.

His African father fled his family to Kenya to have another family (or other families?) and Barack’s mother dumped him with his grandmother in Hawaii while she did some other stuff, I don’t remember what.

That isn’t why I don’t like Barack Obama.

Ronald Reagan had a drunken father and I think he was the second best president in my lifetime after Dwight David Eisenhower.

No, I don’t like the President cause he’s got some kind of score to settle. George W. Bush had a score against Saddam Hussein, and look where that got America.

Obama was raised by white people whom he probably believed had something to do with his African father being sent away. Resentment doesn’t make for a good president. Presidents have to get along with other people.

Either way, Michelle Obama is rubbish. Either she’s a braggart or she’s lying about their lovely, lovely, families.

Let me know if anything of this is factually incorrect. OR if any of this factually correct. I had rubbish parents and am doing the best I can.

@lewisschaffer – twitter feed

Listen to Lewis Schaffer on the Radio Nunhead American Radio with Lewis Schaffer every Monday evening at 10:30PM on and 104.4fm London. Or listen to the show’s podcasts at

See Lewis Schaffer live every Tuesday and Wednesday: Lewis Schaffer is Free until Famous, The Source Below, 11 Lower John Street, London W1F 9TY. Come on down. Free admission. Or reserve at


3 Responses to “Screw Michelle Obama and her lovely family.”

  1. springdaycomedy September 6, 2012 at 7:20 am #

    Title for next year’s show
    “Lewis Schaffer’s got issues…”
    Can’t believe i’m saying this, but I actually miss you. Obviously, i have issues too:)

    • Lewis Schaffer September 8, 2012 at 6:46 pm #

      “Lewis Schaffer’s got issues” I like that. I miss you, too. We’ll always have Edinburgh.

  2. Liz Prisco Chinich September 21, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

    Hi Lewis,

    It has been a very long time. Hope all is great! You look great and your son looks just like you. High school was so long ago but I remember you like it was yesterday. I am so glad to say I agree with your politcal views. Not many do but I certainly do. God bless and I hope you are happy in England. Email me back and let me kow if you got this email.

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SO IT GOES - John Fleming's blog

John Fleming’s blog: human interest, humour, humor, comedy blog featuring eccentricity, performance, movies and occasionally a few tears

Nunhead Nags

A blog about Nunhead regeneration

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comic

SO IT GOES - John Fleming's blog

John Fleming’s blog: human interest, humour, humor, comedy blog featuring eccentricity, performance, movies and occasionally a few tears

Nunhead Nags

A blog about Nunhead regeneration

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comic

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