My friends must be failures

7 Mar

1 PM Wednesday. Yesterday was a bad day for me. I read good reviews in the papers for comedians I know and like. Even worse, they were for shows in New York. New York is my town. Or it was my town. New York seems to be doing very well without me. It makes me question how important I was to the success of New York.

The only thing that bothers me more than hearing of my friends doing badly is hearing that they are doing well. Actually, my own success is something I have the hardest time dealing with. Luckily, I haven’t had much success.

The other night was the Secret Policemen’s Ball [or Policeman’s, who has time to check] in New York. I read that Micky Flanagan, Jack Whitehall, Jimmy Carr et al. killed at Radio City Music Hall. Micky’s behaviour is particularly egregious. I used to meet him in Nunhead’s Peckham Park, spending whole days looking after his newborn child. He’d be bleary-eyed from the relentlessness of childcare duties. At the time, I was looking after my two children and already knew that kids cause comedy death. To paraphrase Woody Allen: a pram in the foyer means there’s a young mom inside. Sorry! A pram in the foyer is the death of art. Or something like that.

Babies kill with their neediness. They eat every four hours, pee and sleep as often, and demand constant attention. If you ignore a baby, you’ll have to spend the rest of your life blaming the MMR jab for their dullness. Kids’ selfishness is why English people hate them: Children want stuff. The English tell their children “I want doesn’t get”, which is mental. How does one get what one wants when one is told that if one wants it, one won’t get it? Can one follow that?

Alas, Micky’s art didn’t die [If you can call standup comedy an “art” – I am not sure that it is]. He wasn’t famous before he had his kid but he is close to fame now. Because of Micky Flanagan, I’ve had to find a new excuse for why I’m not on the telly.

[Here in the UK, acts that have been on the telly are said to be “Him, off the telly”. Well, I’m ‘off’ the telly, as in, “Lewis Schaffer, let’s not put him on the telly”.]

Michael Legge is organising a memorial show for Gregg Jevin at the Soho Theatre, and par for the course, I haven’t been invited to participate. I am never invited to these things and I wouldn’t expect to be invited to this one.

Gregg used to come to New York and stop by the Boston Comedy Club where I was the host. I would give him a spot, as a courtesy. I didn’t know how well known he was in the UK but I knew how much it meant to visiting comics to get on in New York. For instance, I gave a spot to Dave Gorman when he filming his search for people named Dave Gorman. Dave didn’t call me when I moved to London and neither did Gregg. Now Gregg is dead. Serves him right.

See Lewis Schaffer live every Tuesday and Wednesday at the Source Below. Free admission but you will be guilted into giving me money to get out. Reserve at http://bit.ly/londonfreeshow

Advertisements

2 Responses to “My friends must be failures”

  1. Brian Damage March 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm #

    I think you should be on telly!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. What Gregg Jevin did to me « Lewis Schaffer - March 8, 2012

    […] As I wrote yesterday, I knew him from New York.  He stayed at my place in Brooklyn and I gave him spots at the Boston Comedy Club. He wasn’t funny by New York standards – no British comic is – but I knew how much it meant to him. He repaid me by bringing dubious ladies back to my flat in Fort Greene, one of whom took a dump on my kitchen table to thank Gregg for his interest in her. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comedian

John Fleming's blog - SO IT GOES

John Fleming’s blog: human interest, humour, humor, comedy blog featuring eccentricity, performance, movies and occasionally a few tears

Nunhead Nags

A blog about Nunhead regeneration

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comic

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comedian

John Fleming's blog - SO IT GOES

John Fleming’s blog: human interest, humour, humor, comedy blog featuring eccentricity, performance, movies and occasionally a few tears

Nunhead Nags

A blog about Nunhead regeneration

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comic

%d bloggers like this: