My kid gets hit in the face

3 Mar

6 PM I am going off to do a set at the Bearcat Comedy Club in Twickenham. I should work on my act right now and not write this blog but I find it impossible to make decisions when they aren’t forced on me. What joke do I start with? What joke to do I end on? Etc. Etc.  Preparation is making decisions. Those who fail to prepare prepare to fail – it is often said. And right they are.  And I have prepared to fail. Luckily, I have prepared to fail so often that my failures are very successful, and often quite pleasurable to experience.

What is the name of the pilot in Catch 22 (the book by Joseph Heller)? The guy who keeps on crashing his plane into the sea so that one day he’ll be prepared to crash far, far, away from the war? There, I spoiled the book for you.  I have crashed so many times that not only am I not afraid of crashing, but I am beginning to see the benefits from it.

Okay, I am afraid of doing badly tonight as I haven’t been to the Bearcat in nine or more years. And the last time there I bombed badly.  I hope James and Graham of the Bearcat don’t read this and pull me from the show.

Today was spent, in part, worrying that some people may think that I said Alexei Sayle called me “a disaster of a man”.  He did not but the way I wrote it on facebook made some people think that he had. I have been called “Infuriating” by Stewart Lee and “That terrible, terrible man” by Karen Koren of Edinburgh’s Gilded Balloon venues.  I love the criticism because I don’t trust praise.

I don’t think Alexei Sayle has ever met me, or seen me, and, with no disrespect for the man, he is barely on my radar. I heard about him the same way child hears about someone famous from their parent’s life, like the Andrew Sisters or Van Johnson. You are saying: who?

My two kids spent the night here at the Priory last night, then I watched the Wild One play football today at Athenlay in Nunhead while his brother went off to karate. At least I was on the sports grounds when he got blasted in the face with a ball in goal. I didn’t see it as I was talking to the other dads, who weren’t watching their children, either. Just as well. When your kid gets hit in the face with a ball, and they do often, you feel the pain as he does. Perhaps even worse cause you see the work you put into that kid and the future you have planned for him (until his mother smothered your dreams).  It is like double and triple the pain which is why one should not have children.

The Serious one came over in the afternoon while the Wild One was having a play date. We hung out for a while, that is, we went looking for a pub showing Premier League football. One didn’t have a match on and the other was closed for renovation. It was just proper hanging out and walking around, and thinking about getting something to eat. Very, very adult. Almost made up for the pain.

Glad to hear that old timer Roy Hodgson of West Bromwich beat Roman Abramovitch of the Russian people money’s team Chelsea. Football is the most extreme game. Every match is “Win this Game or the Manager Gets It!” It is brutal. West Brom likes Roy more than Chelsea loves Roman or the titular manager AVB.

Oh, listen to me on Monday www.resonancefm.com and watch me live Tuesday and Wednesday at www.sourcebelow.com

So much for now. Mood: Fearful.

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Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comedian

SO IT GOES - John Fleming's blog

John Fleming’s blog: human interest, humour, humor, comedy blog featuring eccentricity, performance, movies and occasionally a few tears

Nunhead Nags

A blog about Nunhead regeneration

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comic

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comedian

SO IT GOES - John Fleming's blog

John Fleming’s blog: human interest, humour, humor, comedy blog featuring eccentricity, performance, movies and occasionally a few tears

Nunhead Nags

A blog about Nunhead regeneration

Lewis Schaffer

Nunhead American Comic

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